Reconciling
by xiamei
Summary: Draco reconciles the conflicting ideas he had grown up with regarding one Harry Potter. Introspective.


Reconciliation. 1020 words.

Disclaimer: It's really weird how we have to do this every time; considering we so obviously don't own HP. (Otherwise, it wouldn't be fanfiction we're writing but canon...)

Warning: OOC Narcissa. And Draco too, I guess... but then, he WAS still a child here. Who knows what he was like as a kid?

Dedicated to Gunning Angel. No occassion, I just love that psycho (her gutter-brain et al). :P

* * *

Draco was five when he first heard of Harry Potter. It wasn't on purpose… he was passing by his father's study when the door creaked open, and dark mutters floated towards him. Father was speaking with Theo's father, and the only discernible words he had come across were "what", "that Potter kid", and "now". Mother had come into the corridor within the first minute, and he pushed the door lightly closed as she passed by. 

"_You shouldn't listen, Draco. Those conversations are only for your father and his friends. It's better that we do not hear those things."_

Draco had tilted his head, and blinked at his mother.

"_Who's Potter, mother?"_

Mother's shoulders stiffened, and he picked Draco up and brought them to his room. She conjured a few new toys for Draco, and the little blonde became so preoccupied that he didn't notice that mother never answered him.

It wasn't until Draco was safely tucked into bed, drifting into sleep, when mother bent over him, kissed his forehead, and finally answered his question.

"_Harry Potter is the reason we are no longer living in such unbearable pain."_

At that moment, Harry Potter became Draco Malfoy's hero.

-------

The next day, when father was out at work and mother and Draco were eating lunch on the terrace; Draco asked if he could ever meet Harry Potter. Mother was stunned.

_"Why do you want to meet him?"_

Draco's pale brows furrowed, and he tilted his head questioningly at mother.

_"Because mother told me last night that things don't hurt anymore because of him. So I want to be his friend."_

Mother pursed her lips then, so much that they looked nearly paler than her face. There was a tense moment of silence, and then mother sighed and smiled slightly.

_"You will probably meet him in Hogwarts, if you work hard and get sent there."_

Draco's grey eyes lit up. If he worked hard, he would go to school in Hogwarts; and he would be able to make friends with Harry Potter.

_"But… Draco… don't tell your father. Never tell him that you want to meet Harry Potter. Never tell father what you think of Harry."_

Draco frowned, and stared at his mother in consternation. Why would mother say that?

_"Just… please, Draco. Promise me."_

There was another brief moment of silence, before Draco nodded in acquiescence.

-------

When Draco Malfoy was seven, he finally began to find out why mother had made him promise not to mention Harry Potter.

On his birthday, father showed Draco his arm. Father asked Draco if he remembered the importance of being a pureblood, and told him that the mark on his arm is the culmination of their race.

_"This mark, Draco… the Dark Mark… it is the sign of those of us who fight for the betterment of magic. It's the sign of those willing to shoulder the burden of purifying our world of scum."_

That day, father told Draco all about the Dark Lord and his greatness, and how Harry Potter ruined the paved way towards purification.

Draco didn't speak a word for that day. It was the worst birthday he had ever had.

In the four years before he went to Hogwarts, Draco was never able to reconcile his ideas of Harry Potter. On one hand, mother sang praises of him; always told Draco how he was the reason people were no longer dying left and right; the reason father was still alive and well; the reason people no longer quivered in fear every waking moment. But, on the other… father always yelled and cursed how he had ruined their chance at a 'proper world'; about how he was the reason the wizarding world was going to the dogs; about how he was bringing them to the ultimate downfall.

-------

On September 1st, during his first train ride at Hogwarts; it was only then that Draco finally reached a decision.

He had heard that Harry Potter was on the train, and he hurried to take a peek at the compartment. It was to some surprise that he noted the boy he had met at Madam Malkin's… the silent one who was with the giant father hated almost as much as Potter.

Draco always thought Harry Potter would be bigger, would look stronger, would exude confidence and… and generally not look as scrawny as this… this child. Mother thought him a hero, and father considered him an arch-villain. How could someone that looked frailer than him do that?

Later, when he finally barged in with his motley crew; Draco finally realized how. Harry Potter turned down his friendship, and searing emerald eyes glared balefully at him.

_"I think I can decide for myself who the right sort are."_

Draco had thought that Potter was frail; but now the blonde could now see that he was anything but. There was a dangerous glint in those bright, unforgettable eyes; an edge to the curt voice; an awe-inspiring confidence in the way he had held himself at that moment.

Even if Harry Potter was both shorter and bonier, Draco felt himself being truly afraid.

It wasn't evident at first sight, but he definitely held the strength that earned him the roles of mother's hero and father's enemy.

At that moment, when his hand in friendship was rejected so harshly; Draco had agreed with his father in the decision that Potter was an enemy. But, at the same time… when the danger and courage and strength rolled off of the scrawny brunette in waves; Draco decided that his mother was right, that this was a boy worthy of being a hero.

That day, Draco decided that Harry Potter would probably always be a little of both to him; even if he knew he would only ever be able to reveal one side of the coin to the world.

He was a Malfoy. Always Lucius' son and never Narcissa's. He supposed it was a good thing that Harry had rejected him, because he knew he could never properly take the role of Lucius' son if he were accepted by those emerald eyes.

_

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I figure that Lucius didn't tell Draco about Harry much. After all, Harry Potter publicity was generally positive; and in this fic Narcissa didn't want Draco to hear about anything Dark Lord related till Draco was at least 7, but hopefully never.

Please review! (And read my other fics, if you have time... please?)


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